For some reason I miss my 17 year old self today. I miss the melancholy girl who thought she was fat, even though she ran 6 miles a day. I miss the girl who could not live without music. Music filled her imagination. Headphones protected her from the derisive sounds and insults of others. I almost wish I was back in Algebra failing, rather than here at work listening to complaints and demands. Every day I wear a headset for the wrong reason. I feel wrung out. I am too tired to be depressed. I can’t stop wondering who I could have been? Who should I have been? Maybe all I need is another pill and 90 minutes with an album that will help me feel something, feel anything other than this ennui.