Unwinding

Unwinding
I am overwhelmed by the amount of yarn I have accumulated. I have dozens of balls of cotton yarn that I bought for no other reason but I liked the color. I have the yarn from projects I planned but never started and projects that were started that I have no desire to finish. The guilt of such excess bores into my skin like a rash.
I wish I could be more like my brother and hold on to those things that can be neatly and thoughtfully packed away. I get tied up in ideas that I don’t carry out. I could knit a hat for everyone I know. I could buy all the yarn, choose colors and then resent the work. I used to think it was funny, now I know that it is pathologically foolish.
I like to knit, but I love to crochet. I love my crochet hooks. I have every size. I have a complete set of Boyles in a zippered case. They are precious. They were a gift from my brother.
My mother taught me how to crochet. I used to watch her crochet with a #7 hook and ecru thread. She worked on intricate doilies and table runners. If she found a mistake she would rip the work out, no matter how far along she was. It used to drive me nuts. I understand now why she pulled all that thread loose and started again. It’s not as much about a perfect motif as it is about a peaceful mastery.
I have finished projects and rushed through them and been unable to let go of a poor result. I forget to enjoy the process. I can’t enjoy the project I am working on knowing I have 50 more unfinished in a large Rubbermaid bin. .So, I have decided to empty the bin. I will save all the yarn that was given to me as a gift. Save yarn for the next two projects and donate the rest. Just the thought of that empty Rubbermaid container is a little weight off my shoulders.